So let me ask you the amplified version of the question: Have the past two months caused you discomfort or distress, uneasiness, awareness of stress or strain, and have left you feeling irritated? They certainly have for me, and I'll tell you why.
At the beginning of October I began a new journey in life. I started a brand new profession in a brand new location, not because it was my idea, but because it was what God told me to do next. Now this didn't necessarily make sense to me, because the whole reason we moved was for ministry. But nothing has to make sense at first if God tells you to do it, right? None-the-less, the anxiety began. I felt like I was thrust into the middle of a hurricane named "Real Estate."......(not a hurricane named "Ditka" for those of you who get it;) Because of this I was having night-sweats, blurry vision, and breakdowns. (maybe not the night-sweats, but I'll explain the blurry vision and breakdowns)
Let's talk about the breakdowns and the blurry vision. When we moved here we knew that God said he would prosper us, not just spiritually, but financially too. I even had dreams of our house and its location. It sounded like the transition was going to be easy-beasy, light and breezy, nice and easy, berries and cream. But mummy was wrong. This was not the case.
Over the past 6 months I had not made any money due to the fact that I was getting my real estate license (we both agreed I pursue it full time without having another job). We had been living on very little, but the bills were being paid. Yet I began to struggle with guilt that I put on myself for not being able to produce any wealth in this moment, and the thought of failing after taking a risk and sacrificing much. Not to mention the fact that growth in a new ministry did not necessarily happen at Chia Pet speed. And then the breakdown(s) occurred. "If this is what God told me to do, then why is it like this.....I don't understand.....Maybe if should get another job....I can't..." And then the Lord spoke to my spirit.
First of all, it wasn't about my ability to produce wealth in this moment, or what I could do at all. It was about acting on what God told me to do and trusting Him to take care of the rest (including in ministry).
"If you're a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay; we don't call your wages a gift. But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do, and you trust him to do it--you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked--well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God." Romans 4:4 msg
Second, my vision was clouded. I wasn't looking ahead at what God said he would do, I was looking at where I was now and what I couldn't do in my own strength.
"When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father to a multitude of peoples." Romans 4:18 msg
Third, I needed to go back to the rules of simple obedience: "If God tells you to do it, it doesn't have to make sense. Just do it. You'll be happy you did."
"He (Abraham) didn't tiptoe around God's promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said." Romans 4:20 msg
Lastly, I needed to embrace what God was doing for me in this moment and submit to it.
"Take your everyday, ordinary life-your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him." Romans 12:1 msg
Can I see the why's and how's during this process? Nope. Do I know that there is a good reason that He has me in this place? For sure. But here are a few things I do know: After every major breakdown, there is a breakthrough. If you are comfortable, then you are not growing. During every major period of growth, there will be discomfort, irritation, pain, stress, and strain. That's what happens when you're being molded for what God has next. That's what happens when your faith is being stretched and increased!
So I leave you with a few scriptures about faith and works....
"Abraham was first named "father" and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing." Romans 4:17
"Fulfillment of God's promise depends entirely on trusting God and his way, and then simply embracing him and what he does." Romans 4:16
"Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own." Romans 4:3
"God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We've finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade." Romans 3:27,28
"The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." Romans 12:3
