Patience to the Point of Explosion

   It seems as though we are on the cusp of something big about to happen (Ooh, cusp!  I haven't used that word since SAT prep in high school english ten years ago.  Yes, I said ten.  But I graduated when i was eleven, didn't you?).   I've been feeling like I am ready for a change!  Not a change like "I want to cut my hair off, dye it purple, bungee jump off Brooklyn bridge, and become a professional muskrat wrangler" but more like a "new season" change.
     My husband and I have been experiencing a transition, so to speak, over the past year.  We really haven't been sure if we've been coming or going.  One thing we do know is that we've been waiting.  Waiting for some promises to come into now.
    The past couple of days I've been feeling like I'm going to explode if something doesn't give.    And then God reminded me of something that happened three years ago.


   My husband drove an old 98 Malibu with 270,000 miles on it that I endearingly called "My Boo".  It was the first car I ever owned and she was paid for.  I babied "My Boo", and she was good to us.  Little  did I know, she was misbehaving due to her age.  My husband didn't tell me she could die any day now.     
     One day he was traveling home from working in Greenwich on 95 north (which I also endearingly call "The Bain of My Existence") and traffic was coming to an abrupt stop ahead.  Needless to say, he was hit from behind and pushed into the car in front of him, totaling the Malibu.  Thank God he was untouched, but now we had to deal with getting another vehicle.  We really needed a new car, but in this way?
   The next month was a nightmare trying to get money from the insurance company.  What should have taken a week took a month to get settled.  Consequently I was one frazzled lady.  I scoured ads, dealerships, and craigslist alike for cars.  We always consult the Lord about our decisions, but i was at the point where I wanted to take out a loan to get something because I was desperate.  But we just didn't feel peace about any decision, even though we really needed something.  Finally after a month of waiting, we received a measly check of $3,000 for the car.  The only thing I could think was "Good luck getting something that's not a piece of junk for that price in Connecticut."  During this time I joked with my husband, asking him when we would buy our Saab, since I had a dream about driving one the year before.  We laughed because we knew they were expensive to own and expensive to fix. 
     One day on my way to work I saw a little beater car that was right around our price range.  I offered the owner close to the price and in cash no less.  I was sure he'd take it since it was greenback, right?  Wrong.  He refused to sell it to me for a few hundred less than I had.  I left crying hysterically.  I beat my fists on the steering wheel of the loaner car.  I punched the air.  I wanted God to pity us.  He had always taken care of us, but it just seemed as though this time we were in a very unfortunate pickle. 
     When I got home, I turned on the computer, sobbing of course, and looked at craigslist again for the hundredth time.  I saw an ad for a Saab 9-5 with 89,000 miles on it for $3500.  I kelly blue booked it and found that it was worth $10,000.   I laughed because I thought it was a scam, but I decided to test the waters any way.  I emailed the seller and waited.
  The next thing I knew, I got an email from the seller saying he lived in the area and he would be glad to show it to us.  He left his number.  So I called my husband and he wasn't sure about the whole thing.  A friend told me that if this guy was legit, he should let me bring my mechanic to come check it out first.   I laughed at her because who in their right mind would offer THAT?   I wasn't sure about it all, but I called the seller back.  I kept asking questions, and he could hear my hesitancy.  He told me the muffler would eventually need replaced, so he would knock $500 off.  THEN without me even asking, he told me if i wanted to i could have my mechanic take a look at it before i made a decision.  I almost peed my pants.   Literally.
   I called my husband back and we discussed things.  We actually got in a little argument and I told my husband I was hanging up and calling the seller back to cancel everything (real mature, right).  As soon as I hung up to call the seller, my phone died!  I couldn't turn it back on for thirty minutes.  Thirty minutes!!!  I said, "ok God.  I get it.  I dreamt I was driving a Saab.  I find one for the EXACT amount of money we got back.  The guy tells me to have my mechanic come look at it.  Then when I go to cancel everything, my phone dies.  Point taken."
    So I made arrangements to go see the car the next day.  One thing was missing though.  I didn't know any mechanics, and the thought of fixing anything on that car made me cringe due to the expense of parts.  
   That night we had a young adults meeting.  We ended up praying for a young man and the Lord touched him.  As we talked later on, I asked him what he did for a living.  He told me that he was a mechanic, and he "really loved working on restoring Saabs," and if we ever needed anything to let him know.  WAIT.  WHAT!!!  God dropped a mechanic, who happened to restore Saabs, right into our laps.
   To make this long story short (or longer).  Our new friend looked at the car.  It was a good car and it became ours.  The Lord gave us something good.  And all we had to do was wait for it.  


I know I was reminded of this story for this simple fact:  God knows what we need.  He knows the desires of our heart (whether it be new leather boots, a car, a house, or a destiny).  He knows what His promises are to us.  Most of the time we just need to wait a little, even if it is to the point of feeling like an internal explosion is about to happen.   And it's at this point where change ends up occurring.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."  Romans 8:25

If the insurance money wasn't held up for a month, and I wasn't refused when it came to buying other cars, we would have missed the right timing for God's best for us.  Everything was hanging in the balance of timing.   Did I fight being patient tooth and nail?  Yes.  Did I complain about it?  Yes.  Am I happy that God made me wait to the point of impending explosion, even though I petitioned Him?  Yes!


"And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised." Hebrews 6:15


So I know I need to take what I learned from this situation and apply it to the life change and promises I've been waiting for.  Have I cried about it?  Yes.  Have I complained about it?  Yes.  Will I be glad that God made me wait till the point of what feels like an internal Hiroshima is looming?   I am sure of it.


"That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."  Romans 8:28


" Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord;  trust in him and he will do this:  He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him..." Psalm 37:4-7

Encouragement or Jedi Mind Tricks?

Have you ever heard a child talk about what they want to be when they grow up?  Like maybe they dream about being an astronaut or a police officer.  Or perhaps they dream about being a a super hero named SuperSlapAFool because they believe one day they will meet fools who just need a slap?  Or maybe they want to invent a T-shirt made of potato chips so that when they watch TV they will have something to snack on. (both aspirations complements of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon)  No matter what they say they want to do in life (sans being a murderer, thief, or anything that negatively impacts this world), we encourage them, right?  Or at least we should.   There is high percentage rate of success in children who have been affirmed and encouraged by their parents.

This past week I've been thinking a lot about encouragement and how it affects adults too.  To encourage, to be encouraged.  What does this really mean?

According to the dictionary, encouragement means to inspire the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty without fear and to inspire them to act in accordance with what they believe, especially in spite of criticism.

  If encouragement inspires a fearless mindset and spirit within someone to accomplish what they've been created to do, then I pose this question:
 Why is it so hard for us to encourage one another and say "If this is what you feel you are called to, then I believe in you and I will do what is in my power to help you."?  
Did you ever just look a someone and just know that they were destined for greatness?   If you haven't, you really should ask God to be able to see people through his eyes.  We can't just assume that people know that we have "The Force" and use Jedi Mind Tricks to complement them with our thoughts.  This "encouraging" thing actually requires us to focus on others, open our mouths to edify them,  and then keep good on our word (Matt. 5:37 let your yes be your yes).

"Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.  Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.." Phil. 2:4,5



Many of us end up "fishing" for encouragement by putting ourselves down.  It's like we walk around saying, "I feel like such a poopy-pants.  All I do is poop my pants all day long and nothin' else" just so someone will come along and say "you're not a poopy-pants.  You're a WONDERFUL pants!"  It's not like we really feel this way about ourselves, but for some reason this seems like the only way to illicit positive reinforcement from one another.  I've noticed very little encouraging words are said to those who look like they don't need it.  But everyone needs it.  It's natural.  And we all should naturally be lifting each other up ALL the time.  Imagine how successful and how far those around you can go!  Imagine how motivated you get when you actually believe that people believe in you!  This is unity at it's best.

And most importantly, for those of us who have felt very little encouragement lately, here's a friendly reminder.  You have an eternal Encourager and his name is Jesus.  Instead of wallowing in the spirit of Eeyore (you know, the donkey from Winnie the Pooh), we should put on the mind of Christ.   He is who we should always look to first and foremost because in return we will always be invigorated, encouraged, and strengthened.

"May Jesus himself and God our Father, who reached out in love and surprised you with gifts of unending help and confidence, put a fresh heart in you, invigorate your work and enliven your speech."  2 Thess 2:16,17 MSG


My point to all this is:  We should always be getting our encouragement and self-worth from God. But on the flip side, we are representations of God on this earth, who should be loving, championing, and encouraging each other to fulfill our destiny's not just with our thoughts, but with our words and actions. Remember the scriptures say that the power of life and death is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21),  not the mind.



"I try to be as true to my word as God is to his.  Our word to you wasn't a careless yes cancelled by an indifferent no.  How could it be?  When Silas and Timothy and I proclaimed the Son of God among you, did you pick up on any yes-and-no, on-again, off-again waffling?  Wasn't it a clean, strong Yes?  Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus.  In him, this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God's Yes and our Yes together, gloriously evident.  God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his yes within us.  By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge- a sure beginning of what he is destined to complete." 2 Cor. 1:18-22 MSG

The Unknowing Know-It-All

I've noticed a new trend forming over the past week.   People have been partaking in a habit that is quite new to society.  Of course,  I have been doing it for years! Well, it's almost as if I started the trend!  Wait for it..........THEY ALL HAVE BEEN EATING THEIR CANDY BARS WITH A KNIFE AND FORK!!!!


   Wait, no.  That's not what it was.  Ah, yes now I remember.  What I meant to say is that I have been noticing that many people (including myself) have been giving into anxiety over where they are at in their lives at this particular time.  Not where they've been or where they are going, but where they are at.  But hey, this is totally a new thing (please note extreme sarcasm).
   The ones who are being plagued by this upheaval of emotion most likely belong to the group of people I affectionately refer to as the "know-it-alls."  They know who they are, what they are called to do, and  "where" they are going.   I have been an unknowing member of the know-it-alls.


       Some of us know-it-alls have been caught in this whole anxiety thing of the "now" in life..  We have it all figured out when it comes to our lives.  We have our vision.  We have everything mapped out of what we think will be next and how things are supposed to look.  We also have a long list of credentials as to why we "deserve" this self-packaged place or thing that God is going to give us.  Our list includes all the "sacrifices" we've made, things we've given up, the time we've been patient etc., etc., etc.   The list goes on and on.  And then, we start to say we "question" who we are, even though we actually know.  Basically, we are threatening God that we will hand in the towel if our demands aren't met.  All we are missing is a pistol, a ski mask, and a Big Gulp to go....and oh yeah, i'll take those Slim Jims and a pack of that Nicoret over there.
     What ends up happening is that we obsess about our destiny.  Does this make sense?  We end up making our calling our idol.
    
      The Lord showed me over the past week that this was the very thing i've been doing for the last couple of years.  I've been dwelling so much on where i think i should be going that it's been making me anxious about where I am at.  Why have I been spending my time trying to pursue all of this instead of  pursuing all of Him?  And then He asked this question: "What if all that you've been working towards were counted as loss for the sake of knowing Me?"  And something changed in me at that very moment.  It's like a switch went on inside of me.  Knowing Him was more important than all that I could dream up.  And for the first time in years, i really, truly answered with all of me, "It's ok if that's what you want God.  You're worth it."  The apostle Paul said it best:


"I once thought all these things were so very important, but now i consider them worthless because of what Christ has done.  Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that i may have Christ and become one with him."  Phil. 3:7,8


And then of course, peace followed.  And then I heard the still, small voice.  What if the reason why I brought you to this point was to get you to realize that you've been dreaming only within the boundaries of what's possible in your own mind?  (For the record, my name is not Neo, and no i did not take a red or blue pill)
       There is such a freedom in focusing on Him instead of the hows, whys, and nows.  It's in this place where you and God come into an agreement that, "yes, this is what i was made for.  You know it.  I know it. Thus saith the Lord.  Now that we got this out of the way, let's focus on our relationship."  Eventually the more you get to know someone, the more you trust them.  The more you trust them, the less worry, fear, and anxiety you have about putting all you hold dear into their care.  It kinda reminds me of a song.


"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.  Just to take Him at His word.  Just to rest upon His promise.  Just to know 'Thus saith the Lord'."




"For the word of the Lord holds true, and everything he does is worthy of our trust." Psalm 33:4


"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."   Romans 8:28


  

Reaching For The Olive Branch

 I've been surfing on some waves, so to speak.  Tumultuous ups and downs of emotion, or as Ron Burgandy would have said,  I was in "a glass case of emotion."  I looked around me and realized that I was not the only one.   Tis the season I guess.
The broad spectrum of my worries ranged from small material items to "What the heck have I been doing for the past five years?"  And don't get me started on this "having a house" thing i was caught up in.  My self-made list of everything I was "poo-pooing" on was increasing by the minute.........  I felt as though I was reaching my breaking point.
After wrestling with myself for a bit, and by a bit I mean a few weeks or maybe a few months, I finally had this "aha" moment where I heard the Lord speak.  It was like He gave me a fatherly spanking and then extended me the olive branch.
I was reminded of all of the big decisions I've had to make in life, and how so far they've been the right ones.  I had, for a brief moment, forgotten what keeps me.  One thing I've always tried to do was include the Lord in all of my decisions, even the smallest ones.  Even things that i think may be a little, well, vain.  Like even when i sometimes think "hey, it would be nice to have this rug" or "hmmm....I could use a new pair of sunglasses,"  and then one day the heavens open up and here is this amazing item that i've been dreaming about for only $9.95 instead of $995.00.  All I had to do was be patient and know that my Dad's got this one (like in Matthew 6).  And then I take these little gems and use them for the big mountains in my life.
For example, two days ago when i was crying about having a house and what we would be doing with our lives next, i heard the still, small voice say, "I only asked you to be obedient in one area of your life.  You succeeded on half of it, but the other half has yet to be done.  After you finish what you started, I'll finish what I started.  Just see what I can do."  Then it hit me like a big old brick.  Last year God told my husband and I one thing.  To pay off our debt.  This meant school loans and everything.  We really only had school and car loans anyway, but when He told us this, we were looking at a mountain of 30 G's (no, the G does not stand for Giblets).  Last April God provided the funds to pay off half of that (two school loans and our only car loan).  We were feeling pretty good, so we left it on the back burner.


 And then something occurred to me as I was receiving the much needed "spanking" from God.  As of this past month, God provided the money to pay in full the other half of our debt with plenty left over.   It's only January here people!  Instead of us using the money towards a down payment and taking out a mortgage, we might as well bank on the simple act of obedience to a King.  Move over Matterhorn!


And all of a sudden, it was as if peace had flowed all around me like a river.  I had reached for the olive branch and grabbed a hold of it.  I may not have initially wanted to hear that particular answer.  Maybe more of an answer, printed on an old scroll with a feather pen, posted to my door with a sword saying:


  Dear Cassy,
     Thanks for your petition. I will now throw your debt into the belly of a whale and I will magically make you a house out of gingerbread and candy corns that will eventually turn into a real house on the ocean.  Poof.  No work, obedience, discipline, or faith needed.....and oh yeah, I have created a decadent ice cream with absolutely no calories or fat. 
    You're welcome,
                     God




I've come to realize over the years that when I include the Lord in every decision I make, there is a peace that accompanies it.


"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."  Philippians 4:6-8


And if I still haven't heard an answer yet, I wait until I do.   Because i know eventually, one way or another, I will get an answer. It doesn't mean that I'll like the answer or how it's packaged, but i know that whatever it is will be for my benefit.  And then peace will follow.  This is how I try to reach for the olive branch.  Everyday.  In everything.


"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.  He will not rebuke you for asking  But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone.  Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.  Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do."  James 1:5-8